An Old Man and Ice Cream
Everyone wants to change the world, right? Or am I the only one? The older I get the more I'm resigned to the fact that I'm not going to be in the NBA, (that ship has sailed) I won't be the next Warren Buffett, and I'm not going to invent some cool gadget like Steve Jobs.
The realization of all this, combined with an experience I had with an old man and ice cream, has changed my perspective of success.
My wife's grandfather lost his wife about twenty years ago, after fifty years of marriage. He's still kickin', having just had his 97th birthday in August. One of the things I like to do with my kids is visit him. My kids are so fun and cute and we all have a blast. We laugh, the kids sing for him, we clean his dishes, take out his trash, and even walk over to the store and buy him groceries.
Just as we were about to leave he would ask, "Who wants ice cream?" Of course, my kids would all cheer and follow their hobbling grandpa into the kitchen so he could scoop them out some. He would fumble in the sink to find a spoon and would always gripe about how hard it was to get the ice cream out.
After a few visits like this, a few things happened. One, my kids started to expect ice cream and would ask for it the minute we walked in the door, and two, I realized that the poor old spoon great grandpa used to scoop out the ice cream was not cutting it.
I had an idea! I was going to buy him a nice and sturdy ice cream scoop. The amazing part was I actually followed through! The next time we stopped to visit, we unveiled his brand new ice cream spatula. We're not talking some low quality scoop here - it was pretty much the Harley Davidson of ice cream spatulas!. And he was EXCITED.
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| How would you like to scoop out some ice cream with one of these puppies? That's right! |
It was one of the times in life when you do something you feel like you should, and it makes you feel wonderful. But I never imagined the impact it would have on that old man. Every time after that, whenever we'd go over to his home and line up for ice cream, he'd pull out his sturdy ice cream spatula, look at me and say with a smirk, "You got this for me, huh."
This small event in my life helped me realize that I don't need to change the world. That's a pretty lofty goal and not within my reach. My new goal? Change the world for
someone. As small and insignificant as my efforts were, it meant the world to great grandpa. The cool thing is, I'll never truly understand the full impact of what I did, but every time I think of him and this ice cream spatula, I'm reminded of Mother Theresa, who captured the essence of this story when she said:
"We can do no great things - only small things with great love."
What small act of kindness can you offer that will change someone's world? Believe me, someone's waiting!
Labels: kindness, love, service
Proud Parents
Have you ever met parents who think their kid/s are the best thing that ever happened to the world? They are constantly talking about how great their child is, how he/she is the cutest, the smartest, the best behaved, etc? I've been exposed to a lot of this. Is there anything more annoying? I used to think so, but not anymore. Let me tell you what changed my perspective.
I have a three-year old boy who I love to death. He's always been a daddy's boy. I used to lay with him in his crib at night so he would fall asleep. When I would get out, he would ask me to lay with him a "liddle bih" more. It was hard to say no. When the time came to take away his binkie, I
cried for over an hour in my room because I knew what it meant, he was no longer a baby. (My wife thought I was going nuts) He's been wrapped around my finger from day one.
When he was about nine months old I went on a trip and visited some unnamed people and was able to meet a baby boy born the same day as my boy. As I met him and his parents, and realized his parents were high on drugs at the moment, I held this boy close to me and felt his warm skin and my heart broke for him. His dad had spent his whole life in and out of trouble, in and out of jail, in and out of love, in and out of abusive relationships. His mother was in shambles as well. I knew from other sources that their relationship was rocky and that this child was not getting the care he deserved. As I held this baby in my arms I thought of the sad injustice of it all. What had this child done, or not done, to deserve to be born to a mother and father addicted to drugs? Why was he any less deserving of parents who adore him and could provide him the love, support, time, and everything else a baby wants and needs. That was a hard night. I called my mom and expressed to her how truly shattered I was, knowing this child would be neglected, forgotten, and not loved as he should be.
Ever since that moment, I find great comfort in
parents who love their children more than anything in the world. I'm glad that they have the best kids, the cutest kids, the smartest kids. The reality is, it's probably not true, but IT IS TRUE TO THEM. That's what matters. I thank God for every parent who feels that way about their child, because for every child that is loved with pure love, there is a child who goes without food, goes without warm clothes, goes without a clean diaper, and goes without hugs at night.
I'm reminded of Elder Dallin H. Oaks talk on children in the October General Conference.
"We can all remember our feelings when a little child cried out and reached up to us for help. A loving Heavenly Father gives us those feelings to impel us to help His children."
To all you annoying parents who feel your kids are the best thing that ever happened to the world, never stop feeling that way!
Labels: bragging, caring, children, family, kids, love, parenthood, parents
Family
This is the picture I look at every day at work. Can I tell you how lucky I feel? Such wonderful, good looking kids. How about the colors in this pic too? All thanks to my wife who spent months, no joke, picking out the outfits. She made half of the stuff to. Sadly, she forgot to put on her head attire that she was going to wear.
Speaking of family, I was talking to my wife last night and I realized that I love my kids so much more when they are outside. There are no lists to be completed, no norms of behavior to follow, no things to break (other than bones). I wish I was homeless, that way I would always adore my kids. Ok, so that last part will come true in about a year and we'll see how it goes. Honestly though, there is something about being outside in the open and enjoying your surroundings that makes life so much better.
Evan and I love to go on fathers and sons campouts. We only have one rule while we are there: Don't die. It makes things so much more relaxing and peaceful. Now if only there were no school, no piano, no messes, no teeth to be brushed, no pajamas to put on, no homework, etc.
Labels: family, kids, love, outdoor, rules
If You're Ugly You Should Read This
July 25
th 2012 started
out with an innocent trip to Macey’s to purchase the infamous “Kong Kone” that
my wife coveted as a child. Her earliest recollections include going to the
grocery store with her family - and for one dollar - purchasing a cone filled
with a MOUNTAIN of soft serve ice cream.
As a dutiful mother, it is
her desire to pass on the most important traditions, and clearly ice cream fit
the bill. While we were in line admiring the prospective dessert along with the deli meats, I overheard
some teenagers talking about “YOLO kissing.”
(YOLO is an acronymn for “you only live once”). For those who are
more clueless than I , this is when you go up to a random stranger and kiss
them. One of the teenagers was talking about another girl who apparently enjoys
participating in the aforementioned activity. Now, the subject of this post is
not about YOLO kissing, nor will I talk
about my worry for the rising generation due to their seemingly “let’s do anything
but something productive” mentality. This post is about something entirely
different.
After YOLO kissing was
mentioned one of the girls said perhaps the most shocking thing I have
ever heard a human being say out loud. Don't worry, this is rated PG, but what she said
stung me so hard that I am now up at 12:46 AM writing a post about the subject.
She said to one of the boys “I would love to do that too (YOLO) but I’m
hideously unattractive.” (giggle giggle)
Say what???
My first reaction was how could
anyone
talk about themselves that way, and then I realized I
had to catch a
glimpse of this girl. Up to this point I hadn't seen what she looked like so I positioned myself in a place (by the jello
desserts) where I could see her, and she was a very decent looking girl. I wanted to go up to her and tell her not to talk about herself that way and let her know that she
was a perfectly fine looking human being, but I was unsure what kind of
reaction I would get.
Her comment made me sick to
my stomach. I just didn’t understand how someone could say this about
themselves, let alone blurt it out in the deli section of the grocery store to her friends. I
know some might feel they are hideous when they look in the mirror in the
morning, but this was
different and frankly uncalled for. What was her home
life like? Did she have a father that told her she was beautiful? These
questions were racing through my mind as I envisioned my own daughters and what
they are going to
think of themselves as they get older.
Since I didn’t take the
opportunity to say something to this girl, I’m going to say it here and hope
that by the magic of the internet it will find her and influence others along the way. In order for that to
happen I need your help. After you read this, please share it on Facebook and invite others to read it. Maybe Macey's girl will end up reading this one day.
Here goes. I’m talking
one-on-one with you Macey’s girl.
First, let me say that you are perfectly capable of being seen as beautiful by
anyone who took the time to know you. I saw beauty and I only looked at you for three seconds. You are not only capable of being seen as
beautiful, you are worthy of it.
But here's the thing - very few will see your true beauty until you can see it yourself.
This brief story will help you understand that last sentence. When I
attended college I often visited an all girls apartment complex by Brigham Young University. It was a
wonderful site to behold. Thirty apartments, four girls in each apartment, one
hundred and twenty total women. Let's just say it was my favorite place to visit!
In this complex there
were all sorts of women - a supermodel who was an actual supermodel, there were cheerleaders, there
were “players”, there were lots of very beautiful women. There were also some average looking women. I got to know all 120 of these women. Some I
gave pineapples to, a large number I held hands with, many I cuddled with on
the couch, and one I kissed. One girl in particular I became friends with had three very good looking roommates, though she was not as blessed with the beauty genes as her roomies were.
As I began to hang around these girls more and
more, the one who was perhaps less endowed with physical beauty (let’s refer
to her as Jill) starting becoming more and more attractive to me. In fact, when I was around her, I wanted to be around her more and more and I
was amazed at how she was literally transforming before my very eyes. She was
more beautiful every time I saw her. It was a really cool thing to experience. My mind had a distance memory of her not being the most beautiful person but my heart was taking over.
Then something happened changed - almost like a flick of a switch.
We were
hanging out with a few people in her apartment one night and for some reason the
conversation was such that it led her to say jokingly, “I’m ugly.” I think I had the same reaction with you (remember I'm still talking directly to the girl at Macey's) at Macey’s that I had with Jill. I was
stunned. I looked at Jill and thought to myself, “I thought you were pretty, but I
guess I should believe you.” When she said ‘I’m ugly”, I decided to believe her
words more than my eyes and heart. After a few days I forgot about the incident
and starting seeing her as beautiful again when, lo and behold, she made another self-degrading comment.
I started to see a trend – Jill constantly put
herself down.
To make a long story short, I
fell out of “like” with Jill, mostly because the way I viewed her was different
from the way she viewed herself. I saw everything good, and great, and beautiful, but she kept stripping that away.
So Macey’s ice cream girl, don’t put yourself down. Self-degradation is VERY unattractive. One of the beautiful things that God has done for us, is he allows
people to find each other attractive. Have you ever seen a
couple and thought “Man, how could anyone be attracted to him/her?” If you
haven’t thought that, you are a better than I am. The great thing is, I
really believe that they are attracted to that individual. It doesn't matter what you think you look like, when someone gets
to know who you are, your beauty grows and grows.
There is a happy ending to
the story. "Jill" ended up getting happily married to a great guy and at last count
they have three cute kids. Things worked out great for both of us because I ended up marrying the only girl in that apartment
complex that I kissed (who happened to live with the supermodel) and I know I was
literally guided by the hand of God to marry her. With that said, I’d be lying to you if I didn't wonder about Jill and I. What would have happened if she believed in herself?
If there are any out there who are reading this post, and you question your beauty and wonder if anyone could ever find you attractive and love you as you deserve, realize that people WILL as soon as you are able to see the beauty in yourself.
Labels: attraction, beauty, love, macey's
This is not the norm
For all of you who have the best spouses ever, thanks for sharing. Just make sure they know it. Polls show that 99% of bloggers have a spouse that doesn't read their blog. So, make sure they know you love them and tell them so day other than Valentine's day too. But again, it is nice to hear that I'm not the only perfect husband out there. I was starting to wonder.
In commemoration of Valentine's day, I am going to write about myself, and not my wife. That's a twist. I am also going to write the things she does not necessarily "dig" about me. There are many. So this is pretty much my anti-normal Valentine's day list of things that you wouldn't see on a blog for Valentines day.
I'm late often and procrastinate always. (It's Feb 16th and I'm making my V-day post. Get it?)
I apparently place utensils in the incorrect drawer--but they are never in the incorrect drawer consecutively. Is that confusing? I apparently place lots of things in the wrong spot. Like deodorant, clothes, pizza cutters. I am the most unobservant creature on the planet, add that to a bad memory. I had a story to back this up, but I can't remember when it happened, who was there, what it involved, and why I even brought the subject up.
When I wash dishes I splash a lot. We're talking diluvian proportions here. I can't get out of bed before 7:30. I lie all the time. I can't get out of bed before 7:45. If I'm in a good mood I sing crazy songs to my kids and act way too mature for a {gulp} 30-year old. If I am in a bad mood I don't talk and don't want to be around people. I steal all the hot-water in the shower. All I do to get ready for bed is brush my teeth. I play Madden occasionally. I don't pay attention to many things my wife says and I will often abruptly leave the room to do something.
Labels: love, valentines
