Winning isn't everything-it sucks!
Everybody likes hearing "You won", right? Yeah I've always liked it too--before yesterday, that is. See, yesterday, the "You won" wasn't music to my ears, or cheesecake to my mouth, or a gamecube joystick to my fingertips. It was more like sandpaper to my cheek, a rusty nail to my foot, or Eclipse to my ears. Painful. I received an email stating "You Won eBay Item:Men's Rogaine Foam 3 Months 5% Minoxidil NEW IN BOX (150217410320)".
Ladies and gentlemen, I am going bald. And up to this point I have been in denial. Yesterday, upon clicking the "Buy It Now" button, I officially admitted I have a problem. Hair has never been my best friend. I was what many would call a late bloomer. I got hair on my legs during my mission I think and my armpits are just now filling in. Meanwhile, in 5th grade I had classmates who would shave their backs and give the hair to charity so they could make whigs. I mean, what would it be like to be this guys. I bet he got all the chics. Sorry for the graphic image.
My only hope is that I will some day be able to grow a beard in case this Rogaine Foam doesn't work. I could us it as a comb over and I think it would look pretty sweet. Case and point. Look at this dude. That rocks.
All I have to say is--it's on! I am not losing my gorgeous, silky smooth, red hair. It's all I've got. Some people get the looks, some get the muscles, some get the smarts, some get the athletic prowess, and then some get the red hair. Please, don't take that away from me. What would I do if I were a 6'2", 140 lb, white freckled, careerless, frowny, Bostonian with no hair? Now, I don't mean to say that bald people are ugly because I think some people look better without hair. I am not one of them. I need my hair.
posted by Ben Arkell @ 1:27 PM
6 Comments:
Are you really going bald? I have never noticed. I guess that gives more evidence to the fact that I am extremely unobservant.
This comment has been removed by the author.
Where did you get that picture of me with my shirt off? I am so embarassed that you put it on the internet.
you are a handsome man and will remain so forever.
Look at the bright side, you'll save money because you won't have to buy shampoo as often (unless you spend it all on rogaine).
Good laugh there, thanks. Unfortunately the stats are against you. I hear redheaded men are more likely to lose their hair sooner than any other hair color.
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